I know a lot of times when I pray and ask God for something I 1. expect Him to answer in a way that I have preplanned out and 2. I most usually hope that He won't answer because that would require change on my part.
Here is a little history for ya'. When I found out I was pregnant with Lindsey I decided that staying home was the best option and how great would I be if I stayed home. Fast forward to 6 weeks after she was born and I was absolutely miserable. My child screamed all day long. I had so much baby weight (ok ok it was Braum's weight) that being outside and social in the summer was paralyzing. Looking back I think I had a touch of postpartum depression. All I wanted to do was go back to work and fast! So, I decided to go back to work. I decided that daycare was a good option (for our family).
See all the I's! I never prayed about it nor did I really include Jay in the discussion! Jay was sweet and let me work it out!
For a few months I had really been struggling with Lindsey being in daycare and me working so much. Jay gets sick of me saying, well I could work this shift and these day and we could do such and such with Lindsey. He sweetly lets me think out loud and patiently waits for my planning to pass. Well, this time I threw him for a loop and just shared my frustrations and concerns and just asked him to pray about staying home with Lindsey. I threw in a little planning but the heart of it all was to seek God. As I was praying I had my conditions and I had it planned out, all God had to do was follow the map. But at least this time I was taking my desires and concerns to God, conditions and all.
Well, the joke was on me! God graciously answered my prayer with conditions. I wish the circumstances to allow this opportunity would not have happened but they did. He was even so gracious as to meet some of my conditions! I will still be able to work some. Lindsey will hopefully go to a wonderful Mother's Day Out where she can be social and I can still do a few things I love! 15 hours a week of child care sounds so much better than 40 -50 plus! I get to stay home. Jay and I are still figuring out how all this will work financially but we are praying and trusting God with as few conditions as possible!
God knows the desires of your heart. Don't insult God and His love by praying with conditions and expectations. The expectation you should pray with is the expectation that He will and does provide and when He does it will blow you away! I am so thankful!
On a side note here are some pics from our trip to the pool Memorial Day.
It took about 30 mins but after that she was in love running in and out of the shallow end! This smile never left her face!
And more running! For 2 hours she ran and splashed and ran. However, if she got distracted and the water came up to her booty she flipped and lid, turned around a high tailed it back to the shallow end!