Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Well it has been a couple of months since our little life was rearranged. We learned today that the DHS system is incredibly screwed up! How can someone who abuses children be allowed to work in a child care center? We learned today that if I wanted to beat the hell out of my child and get her taken away from me but I am not found criminally responsible I can still take care of kids in a daycare facility! (I do not and will not beat my child this is hypothetical) This teacher will have a DHS file about her but no daycare will ever know because she has a clean criminal record! I honestly am speechless. I hope that we never have to do deal with the Oklahoma DHS system! At least in the end God has used this to help transform our family! God is good all the time and all the time God is good!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Have you ever been out to eat and the restaurant just did one or two extra things to knock it out of the park for you? I know that when Jay and I go out yo eat with Lindsey if the waiter can make Lindsey feel comfortable then we are sold. 3 restaurants in the city really know how to do it. The Wedge on Western gives Lindsey pizza dough to play with. When we walk in we never get the look of o crap a toddler. Chick-fil-a has FREE cheerios and a play place that is awesome! Abuelos brings out Lindsey's food just warm never piping hot. The wait staff is always so considerate of Lindsey and brings her different chips and snacks. Nothing that these 3 restaurants do is time consume or outrageously expensive but the little details that they decided to pay attention to keeps us coming back for more.
I was once told by someone I was volunteering with that God had sent him to fix my OCDness. I politely allowed him to tell me how my attention to detail was a negative. (Thank God I have not served with him since)! I see it as a positive. The little things add up to HUGE things. Details do not mean it has to be perfect it just means that you took the time to consider someone else. My goal in this season of my life is not to be perfect but to consider who will walk through my life whether at church, home, or work and do something small for them to help knock their day out of the park!
On a side note my baby is beautiful! Cheryl did an amazing job!
Friday, June 11, 2010
Here is a scary thought, I am now the greatest influence in Lindsey's life no longer the daycare. I never thought about it that way until now. Looking back I would fight the daycare on some of the smallest issues but I think it was because I felt like they were taking away my little bit of mommy influence that I had left. It was so much easier to blame the daycare for the bad attitude at night and the bad habits but now when she has a bad attitude it is MY fault. I am now the main person who she is imitating and learning from! I have even more time to screw her up or even more time to mold her into a beautiful little girl. I have no clue what I am doing and I am constantly lost! I pray each and every morning for God to guide me! This is truly a never ending job! I think that is one reason I love working so much. After my shift 4, 8, 12 or 16 hrs I know that it stops and I can leave it. This mommy thing NEVER stops. I am constantly on go! I read all the books and websites when I was pregnant and not one mentioned how overwhelming this job can be! How do I teach her, how do I mold her, how do I not screw up???? Thank God, God is driving. Thank God Lindsey is forgiving! I think I am going to search Mardels tonight and buy every book on parenting and education! Right now Lindsey thinks everything is the color black!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
I know a lot of times when I pray and ask God for something I 1. expect Him to answer in a way that I have preplanned out and 2. I most usually hope that He won't answer because that would require change on my part.
Here is a little history for ya'. When I found out I was pregnant with Lindsey I decided that staying home was the best option and how great would I be if I stayed home. Fast forward to 6 weeks after she was born and I was absolutely miserable. My child screamed all day long. I had so much baby weight (ok ok it was Braum's weight) that being outside and social in the summer was paralyzing. Looking back I think I had a touch of postpartum depression. All I wanted to do was go back to work and fast! So, I decided to go back to work. I decided that daycare was a good option (for our family).
See all the I's! I never prayed about it nor did I really include Jay in the discussion! Jay was sweet and let me work it out!
For a few months I had really been struggling with Lindsey being in daycare and me working so much. Jay gets sick of me saying, well I could work this shift and these day and we could do such and such with Lindsey. He sweetly lets me think out loud and patiently waits for my planning to pass. Well, this time I threw him for a loop and just shared my frustrations and concerns and just asked him to pray about staying home with Lindsey. I threw in a little planning but the heart of it all was to seek God. As I was praying I had my conditions and I had it planned out, all God had to do was follow the map. But at least this time I was taking my desires and concerns to God, conditions and all.
Well, the joke was on me! God graciously answered my prayer with conditions. I wish the circumstances to allow this opportunity would not have happened but they did. He was even so gracious as to meet some of my conditions! I will still be able to work some. Lindsey will hopefully go to a wonderful Mother's Day Out where she can be social and I can still do a few things I love! 15 hours a week of child care sounds so much better than 40 -50 plus! I get to stay home. Jay and I are still figuring out how all this will work financially but we are praying and trusting God with as few conditions as possible!
God knows the desires of your heart. Don't insult God and His love by praying with conditions and expectations. The expectation you should pray with is the expectation that He will and does provide and when He does it will blow you away! I am so thankful!
On a side note here are some pics from our trip to the pool Memorial Day.
It took about 30 mins but after that she was in love running in and out of the shallow end! This smile never left her face!
And more running! For 2 hours she ran and splashed and ran. However, if she got distracted and the water came up to her booty she flipped and lid, turned around a high tailed it back to the shallow end!