Do Everything

Lately I have been struggling with my identity. I am no longer working and am not staying home full time. So who am I now that I no longer have a career? A few weeks ago we went to by me a car. As we were signing the loan papers the dude asked me what my career was. It was the first time I had to say stay at home mom. I almost shuddered when I said it and to make matters worse he not so kindly informed me that I would need my husband to make this purchase.

  I never thought I would be so reliant on a man! I had all these dreams of being independent and making it on my own. Now, here I am more dependent on my husband than ever. I decided after we bought my car that I had to get a grip on these thoughts or my next 5 or 6 years were going to be hell!

Here is what God is showing me! He has a divine plan for me and my little family and the path is laid out! I can not make the plans! I need to be proud of my new title "stay at home mom." God has called me and equipped me to stay home with my girls! My job is to raise them to love Jesus more than anything and to protect them! That is more important than all the butt wiping I could ever do!

God did not provide a path for me to stay home just so I could be dependent on Jay! He is my partner in this and one of my greatest supporters. He provides for us out of love and servant hood. Never has he made me feel like I do not contribute but the exact opposite he is the one reminding me that God has called us to do this and  He will provide for us in all ways!

I struggle still and will continue to struggle just because I loved my career so much but God's blessings abound from being obedient to His path. One blessing He has given me is a passion for the volunteer work I do at the church! I love so much that I get the opportunity to connect new volunteers to a place to serve God! But that is for another post! 

When Satan tries and attacks my mind I just need to remember this is the path God has called me to and there is nowhere safer than His will!

Prize for the winner!!!

So apparently I have learned from some "older" friends that the title of my blog Surviving Pootie is very inappropriate!! Excuse me for having a very innocent mind! Shame on all of you who have polluted me! hahahaha So here is the deal I will offer a gift card to Starbucks or favorite chain restaurant for a creative new CLEAN title to my little blog!!! So ready set go.........

"I love my kids but hate my life"

Catchy title huh? On the Today show that was the title of one of their segments. At first glance it broke my heart but as I continued to listen I began to understand and was thankful that they were bringing this topic up. If you think about it when you work you put in your 8-12 hours, accomplish your objectives, and go home. There is a starting and stopping point. Your coworkers and customers for the most part cooperate with the set goal. When you become a parent there is no 8 or 12 hour shift. There is no cooperating participants. There is no neat completion to the day.

One of my favorite sayings is it is all about perspective! If I choose to look at my choice to stay home as little tasks to get completed, or getting Pootie to cooperate 100% of the time then yes my choice sucks! However, if I choose to look at the big picture and focus on the things that Pootie does to make me smile then my day is so much smoother. How can you be miserable when a 2 year old wraps her chubby little arms around me and says hugs mommy hugs! Melts my heart every time!

Also, being confident in your parenting ability is a key factor. I am figuring out that if I care about how other parents raise their child or what they think of how I raise my child then I am going to go crazy. All I should be focused on is am I raising Pootie in a way that honors God and is she a happy child.

I do love my little Pootie and I do love my life but loving my life is a choice that I will make! I will focus on the good and fun and not the mundane. I will not focus on the fits or the battle for a bow in the hairs but I will focus on the hugs, giggles, and broken sentences!

What is your perspective?

Bitter Sweet!

Last weekend my sweet family from Arkansas came to OKC with their RV and camped in my front yard to celebrate Pootie turning 2! I had been preparing for this weekend for 2 months! Friday of her party Jay and I were informed of some horrible news. We decided to go on and have her party but not to inform our family. Having our family around was so amazing but throughout the entire weekend my mind was elsewhere. I am so sad that the poor choice one person made affected my mood for the entire weekend. My mind may have been distracted but my family was not. They made a potentially horrible weekend the best for Lindsey. Below are a few pictures from the weekend. They are in no particular order because well blog spot hates me!

Lindsey at the end of the party! She loves her glasses! She wears them around like a little diva!

Last year Jay did not get to watch Lindsey open presents so this year he got the honors of helping Pootie! He is so good and patient he can have the job EVERY year!

I am so mean! I would not let Lindsey eat the cupcake until we got a picture! She had been not so patiently waiting all day for a cupcake and when the time came to FINALLY eat one I made her wait a few more minuets for a dumb picture!

We are still working on blowing out candles. All she wanted was the stupid cupcake!

I am so proud of the idea I stole from some website!

Jay and I got Lindsey a swing for her birthday. We may not have picked it up until an hour before the family arrived. We may not have hoped that Uncle Steve and Randy and Pops would put it together! They did a great job! Lindsey and Hope loved it! They played so good together! I can not wait to go to AR so the two can play together again soon!

We bought Pootie a bubble machine as well as 2 other people! We have them all set up in the back yard. If you drive by you may very well see bubbles surrounding our house! She loves them! Hope and Lindsey chased those bubbles all over the yard!

These bleepity bleep bleep bleep Elmo cupcakes! This is why I have been planning this party for 2 months. Lindsey all of a sudden fell in love with Elmo so of course I had to have an Elmo cake! Last year we spent way too much on a cake from a local bakery so I was determined this year to make her cake. I could have bought another cake for the amount of money I spent testing out cupcakes and frosting! By the way making red icing is impossible! I died coconut instead, much easier! They turned out too cute and they were yummy as well. I made coconut creme filled cupcakes mmmmm! My table was pretty cool too!

Here is the first part to the table decorations! Get it. . . Sesame Street!!!

Lindsey had a great party! My sweet family from AR and our sweet friends form OK made it so special for Lindsey and us! We are truly blessed and humbled by all the love that was poured upon us! Next year I am not sure what we are doing but I am not making a cake with RED icing that is for sure! Thank you to all who came! You all made what could have been a miserable weekend so much fun and a good distraction! Love you all!

Happy Birthday

2 years ago I finally met Lindsey Marie Dunks. Sure it wasn't what I thought would be perfect but looking back it was as perfect as perfect comes. Bear with me as I retell, for my own self, a sweet moment Lindsey and I shared!

The cry that moms can not wait to hear that confirms all is right with their newborn took longer than normal to come. After the Dr. handed Lindsey over to the nurse I waited and waited for what seemed like forever for Lindsey to wail. After too long of a wait I heard the faintest cry. That cry was the sweetest scariest moment ever. I later learned that Lindsey was NOT breathing and had to be resuscitated.

As a result of her not breathing she was taken to the NICU. I sent Jay with Lindsey and my mom came and held me. I kept telling my mom it was precautionary but inside I was so unsure. Jay came back and told me that Lindsey was beautiful but I had to wait to see her.

My epidural took forever to wear off and when it did I began to feel my broken tail bone and the anxiety of the situation began to set in. I became the patient I despise. I was yelling for the Dr. and pain meds. The Dr. lovingly gave me a beautiful cocktail that knocked me out COLD!

I woke up form the drug induced sleep with the most empty feeling I have ever felt! I began to get up while Jay was sleeping and clean up in the bathroom. The nurse caught me trying to sneak out and lovingly wheeled me down to the NICU. Now understand it was like 2 in the morning and Lindsey was born at like 6 at night. I had yet to meet my daughter that I impatiently carried for 8 months.

The sweet NICU nurse agreed to let me come in and meet Lindsey. The NICU was so quiet and no family or visitors were around. I went straight to my little girl and sobbed. She was so beat up from the delivery. Her head was on a cool gel pack and it was so swollen. Her little arm was strapped down so she wouldn't disturb her broken collar bone. She had a mini NG tube and an IV coming out of her belly. Not the picture you have in your head of your first meeting. I reached in her crib and she grabbed my finger and held on tight. I sat there and sobbed and apologized to Lindsey that her first moments in the world were so scary.

Looking back at that first meeting it was so sweet and precious to me. In the quiet of the night Lindsey and I got to meet face to face alone and share in a moment that will forever be just ours. No other person will have a perspective of our first meeting just her and I. I was able to tell her my hopes dreams and promises for her. Although our meeting was far from perfect looking back I would not change it for anything. Lindsey let me know early that the bond her and I share is beyond special it is a gift from God and to be cherished!

Embarrassing

A few weeks ago Jay rode in his first bike race! I am so proud of him. He rode 33 miles across the only hills Oklahoma has to offer! He is supposed to be gearing up for a 62 mile bike race to raise money for diabetes in June. I love that he gets to pursue something he loves. His mom came into town that weekend and she was so sweet and came up with the idea to make this sign and Lindsey a shirt. Pretty sure we were the only family that made signs and shirts for a rider. We were at the finish line screaming and acting a fool! Everyone else was so calm and clapped quietly! Not the Dunks family we made our pride known! And yes I made him carry that sign around!

P.S. Check out those legs! He is pretty hott! Don't be jealous ladies!

Playgrounds and Brats!

I took Lindsey to the park yesterday. Lindsey thinks she is 10 year old. She gets up on the biggest slide and heads down, no worries. I normally get on the equipment with her and hover over her like a helicopter but this trip I decided to lay back and hover from afar, well kinda. When we got to the park we were basically the only people there so Lindsey had the whole place to herself. School soon let out and the kids showed up. Moms sat at the benches and let their (older) kids go. The kids were in their own world and Lindsey did not fit. She was too slow and too little for them to be bothered with. Lindsey just wanted to slide. I had 1 too many conversations with the kids about sharing as the moms sat and read their books and never once saw their kids. I had to bargain with on kid to let Lindsey slide. I told the little girl that they could slide 4 times before Lindsey even got up there. All the frustration I felt for my little girl, I don't think she even noticed. If the kids wouldn't let her slide she just went to another one and squealed with glee, clapped her hands, and signed more! We went down more slides than I can count. She finally got tired of the slides and went to swing. I would try to push her and she would point at the swing next to her and yell SIT! So I had to sit in the swing by her and swing with her! She is so big! What I do not understand is these parents who let their kids go. I don't even care that the kids don't share but those moms were missing out on so much fun. I love getting on the equipment with her and see every smile and clap! Those moments are too precious to miss out on for a book!

That trip to the park really hit home with me. I have no problem chillin' with pootie at the park but at home is another story. There is always laundry to be done, something to be cleaned, or homework to be tended to. All of those will be there after she goes to bed. The moments I miss because I think my house is not perfect will be missed!

Yeah Yeah Yeah

Ok, lets get this over with! I know it has been forever! This post is all text and no pics!

I am a horrible mom! I have just now scheduled Lindsey's 12 month pics for tomorrow and she is 15.5 months! 3.5 months . . . not a lot has changed. . . right???? Well actually it has! My baby is so big and I hate it! I can no longer lay her down and she be in the same place I left her. I now turn my head for a second and she is in another room detroying something! Long gone are the days of formula for a meal! I now prepare 3 meals and a few dozen snacks a day for Pottie! She is such a good eater. We were at the Dr. and I was complaining that Lindsey's full button was BROKE. He laughed and said he never hears that one. Moms are always worried about their toddler missing a meal. Let me tell you she has NEVER missed a meal! She will push the high chair to me to let me know it is time to eat. She is a very determined baby!!!!! We now, at the age of 15 months, have 1 tooth and another poking through! We are a little redneck!

Hopefully we will have pictures to show to the world soon! Love mycrazy baby!