Lately I have been struggling with my identity. I am no longer working and am not staying home full time. So who am I now that I no longer have a career? A few weeks ago we went to by me a car. As we were signing the loan papers the dude asked me what my career was. It was the first time I had to say stay at home mom. I almost shuddered when I said it and to make matters worse he not so kindly informed me that I would need my husband to make this purchase.
I never thought I would be so reliant on a man! I had all these dreams of being independent and making it on my own. Now, here I am more dependent on my husband than ever. I decided after we bought my car that I had to get a grip on these thoughts or my next 5 or 6 years were going to be hell!
Here is what God is showing me! He has a divine plan for me and my little family and the path is laid out! I can not make the plans! I need to be proud of my new title "stay at home mom." God has called me and equipped me to stay home with my girls! My job is to raise them to love Jesus more than anything and to protect them! That is more important than all the butt wiping I could ever do!
God did not provide a path for me to stay home just so I could be dependent on Jay! He is my partner in this and one of my greatest supporters. He provides for us out of love and servant hood. Never has he made me feel like I do not contribute but the exact opposite he is the one reminding me that God has called us to do this and He will provide for us in all ways!
I struggle still and will continue to struggle just because I loved my career so much but God's blessings abound from being obedient to His path. One blessing He has given me is a passion for the volunteer work I do at the church! I love so much that I get the opportunity to connect new volunteers to a place to serve God! But that is for another post!
When Satan tries and attacks my mind I just need to remember this is the path God has called me to and there is nowhere safer than His will!
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