Happy Birthday

2 years ago I finally met Lindsey Marie Dunks. Sure it wasn't what I thought would be perfect but looking back it was as perfect as perfect comes. Bear with me as I retell, for my own self, a sweet moment Lindsey and I shared!

The cry that moms can not wait to hear that confirms all is right with their newborn took longer than normal to come. After the Dr. handed Lindsey over to the nurse I waited and waited for what seemed like forever for Lindsey to wail. After too long of a wait I heard the faintest cry. That cry was the sweetest scariest moment ever. I later learned that Lindsey was NOT breathing and had to be resuscitated.

As a result of her not breathing she was taken to the NICU. I sent Jay with Lindsey and my mom came and held me. I kept telling my mom it was precautionary but inside I was so unsure. Jay came back and told me that Lindsey was beautiful but I had to wait to see her.

My epidural took forever to wear off and when it did I began to feel my broken tail bone and the anxiety of the situation began to set in. I became the patient I despise. I was yelling for the Dr. and pain meds. The Dr. lovingly gave me a beautiful cocktail that knocked me out COLD!

I woke up form the drug induced sleep with the most empty feeling I have ever felt! I began to get up while Jay was sleeping and clean up in the bathroom. The nurse caught me trying to sneak out and lovingly wheeled me down to the NICU. Now understand it was like 2 in the morning and Lindsey was born at like 6 at night. I had yet to meet my daughter that I impatiently carried for 8 months.

The sweet NICU nurse agreed to let me come in and meet Lindsey. The NICU was so quiet and no family or visitors were around. I went straight to my little girl and sobbed. She was so beat up from the delivery. Her head was on a cool gel pack and it was so swollen. Her little arm was strapped down so she wouldn't disturb her broken collar bone. She had a mini NG tube and an IV coming out of her belly. Not the picture you have in your head of your first meeting. I reached in her crib and she grabbed my finger and held on tight. I sat there and sobbed and apologized to Lindsey that her first moments in the world were so scary.

Looking back at that first meeting it was so sweet and precious to me. In the quiet of the night Lindsey and I got to meet face to face alone and share in a moment that will forever be just ours. No other person will have a perspective of our first meeting just her and I. I was able to tell her my hopes dreams and promises for her. Although our meeting was far from perfect looking back I would not change it for anything. Lindsey let me know early that the bond her and I share is beyond special it is a gift from God and to be cherished!

Embarrassing

A few weeks ago Jay rode in his first bike race! I am so proud of him. He rode 33 miles across the only hills Oklahoma has to offer! He is supposed to be gearing up for a 62 mile bike race to raise money for diabetes in June. I love that he gets to pursue something he loves. His mom came into town that weekend and she was so sweet and came up with the idea to make this sign and Lindsey a shirt. Pretty sure we were the only family that made signs and shirts for a rider. We were at the finish line screaming and acting a fool! Everyone else was so calm and clapped quietly! Not the Dunks family we made our pride known! And yes I made him carry that sign around!

P.S. Check out those legs! He is pretty hott! Don't be jealous ladies!

Random

I have a lot going through my head! I think another list is the way to go!

• Spring is here, well summer one day spring the next! I love being able to show this albino skin the sun!
• I finished my first ever grad school class with an "A" super excited!
• My best friend is going to start school in the fall and we will hopefully be able to take the majority of our classes together. Yay she can keep me motivated! We should have done our undergrad together. Nah, we would have gotten in too much trouble.

• My baby turns 2 in a week! What the heck, where has time gone. Maybe we should start talking about baby number 2. Can I be preggers in a wedding?? hmmmm. . . .

• 2 years and 4 months ago the sweetest miracle was born; Laynie bug! She is by far the most loved baby in the world! Check out her Facebook page. http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Hope-for-Laynie/305610421443?v=info Now, go donate blood in her name!
• Jay and I started to go to Lifechurch.tv Yukon. OMG. . . I am in amazement at what God is doing. Opening weekend almost 4 thousand people came. We thought maybe 700-a thousand, not 4 thousand. God is changing lives, including ours! We are so blessed and humbled to be apart of what God is doing in this community!
• My sister-in-law Amy is moving to AR soon and that puts her 4 hours away instead of a hundred million! Super excited! Now when I go to AR I can see Amy and my parents! EEEEEEE so happy. Now to con Mimi and PaPa to make the move to AR. Any ideas??? I think a hostage situation might be required but I can get creative.
• What was I thinking planning 2 large parties on back to back weekends??? Jay may need a safe place to hide soon.
• My last week of nights is this week! Jay is secretly doing a happy dance. This is very bittersweet! I love the night crew! I love the new grads I got to spend time with. I like that some of the patients sleep. I do miss the pace of days. I do better when I am constantly moving. I know I am weird but I function better if I am busy!

Wow I could add so much more but I will save those thoughts for another day! Happy May!

Random

Today feels like a random list day.

* I miss NWA. Not the towns or the stuff to do just my family and friends.

* I love OKC! Can NWA move here?

* People that smoke in their luxury vehicles just plain piss me off! You paid mega bucks for that vehicle show some respect!

* PBS has great programing. I now know more about OK than I ever knew about AR. We got a ghost in the governor's mansion.

* I am stalling on homework. At this point it seems pointless. I need motivation.

* I love our new church home! I love going up there on Wednesdays and serving the staff. Whatever they need I can do! They work so hard for me, the least I could do is work hard for them.

* I love my job. I wish I was not bored so easily. How many job titles can you have until there are just too many? I am working on the answer! I love all that I do and can not simply wait to finish one to do another.

* Our computer will not let me upload pics to it. I have tons of blog worthy pics and a picky computer! If anyone would like to donate to the Megan and Jay need a new computer fund please leave a comment.

* I officially love to bite off more than I can chew! Why yes I would love to have 2 bar b q's back to back! What the frick was I thinking? O, yes, I was thinking Jay can handle this while I curl up in the fetal position and rock!

* Speaking of Jay I have an amazingly embarrassing post for ya'll when my camera and computer decide to kiss and make up!

* The last random thought of the day: Man I love my husband! He is the best of the best of the best. Hope all ya'll are JEALOUS! Cause you should be!

Irresponsible

This precious girl is what happened when Jay and I were "irresponsible!" God took that so called irresponsibility and gave us the biggest gift ever! Yeah sure had we been more "careful" we would have had time alone, the ability to travel, or maybe more money. Looking at all the coulda shoulda's I think man how boring! Jay and I get the amazing oppurtunity to do the fun things that you need a kid for. Like the zoo, kid movies, playing at the park on the equipment. You know all the things people would look at you kinda funny for not having a kid with you! How boring would our day be if we never heard those sweet broken questions. Like, where my bird, where daddy go, where my moon, and so on! Daily we get to experience the world through the eyes of a toddler. The world is brand new, exciting, fun, safe, and amazing! I never knew true love till I held her. I am so thankful Jay and I were irresponsible. I am so thankful God gave us this precious gift. I know this picture is a year old but I can hear her laugh when I look at it! To hear that laugh is the best part of our irresponsibility!

Yay for me!

Wooo hooo, or Woot as Jay just loves!!! I made an "A" on my first grad school paper! How nerdy am I? I felt like I was in elementary school again and couldn't wait to run home and tell my parents the good news! However, I patiently waited until the morning and then called to tell them the good news! I guess you never grow too old to hear I am proud of you by your parents! Jay was pretty happy for me too and Lindsey just looked up at me like so what I can say yellow! Got to love her! I am truly loving school! Talk to me in a year or so, maybe my attitude will change! I am not sure how to fit grad school in my future plans but it is gonna have to fit somewhere. Jay and I are seriously thinking about additions to the family and I do not think they can wait until 2013 to come. So, my dreams may have to take a back seat for awhile but who knows, God is so in control!

In Lindsey news, she is speaking in sentences. They are broken but o so beautiful. Right now everything is mine! Her aunt Clair got Lindsey a lady bug night light that projects stars and a moon on the ceiling. At night, or well any dark room, she carries that ladybug and screams MY MOON when she discovers it! When the light is off she pathetically whines wheres my moon momma, my moon! She has big dreams to own the moon! That ladybug is one of the best things ever! Thank you aunt Clair!

Lindsey will be 2 in a month and a half. Plans are under way for her 2nd b-day party! I told myself that this year would be more simple but who am i kidding it will be even more insane. So much so that I have requested my mom to come early and am going to beg my mother in law this next weekend to come early to help cook! My whole life changed the day Lindsey came into this world! I never knew I could be so scared and in love with this little piece of heaven! She came out without a sound and made sure for the 1st 3 months I was aware that was just a fluke! We must celebrate!

Sacrifice

I never understood the sacrifices my parents made until I became a parent! Right now I am feeling the sacrifices!!! On Thursdays, Lindsey goes to daycare so I can do school work all day and then we can have all of Friday together plus the weekend. This week I have not been able to spend a lot of time with her due to working nights and over sleeping. This morning when I got her up to go to school she just cried daddy daddy daddy, O how my heart broke! I want nothing more than to be with her and play with her instead of sleeping because I choose to work the night shift. I am doing this to help our family and it is only for 9 more weeks but it hurts! When I dropped her off at school she just clung to my leg. I had to sneak out while the teacher distracted her! She looks up at me with those big brown eyes and my heart breaks! I pray one day she understands that the sacrifices her dad and I make are ultimately for her, that every decision we make is with her best interest in mind! I am so thankful for all the things my parents sacrificed for me! I now wish I told them sooner!