So done!

These last 7 days are for the birds. A long story short is my sister-in-law Bekah is 29 weeks pregnant and as I type this she is sedated and on a ventilator. The roller coaster of emotions and Bekah's health just does not seem to stop. Jay, being the amazing man he is, has been with his brother in San Antonio. As emotional as I feel it does not even begin to compare to how Cody (Jay's brother) must feel. To not be able to talk to your best friend for 7 days has got to be so hard. On top of that to be faced with life and death decisions for your wife and unborn child has got to be heart wrenching. I can not even begin to even try to identify with the feelings that Cody is experiencing as well as Bekah. What I can identify with is the amazing husbands that Bekah and I are so blessed to have. Jay with out hesitation flew to be by his brother's side as Cody faced the worst time in his life refusing to let him be alone. Cody has so beautifully navigated this horrific nightmare. Bekah and Peyton have no better advocate than Cody. He has sat and listened to the doctors and nurses and been faced with some painful realities and yet has remained so strong and so committed to his girls. My mother and father in law have raised two boys that they should be so proud of! Any girl would have been so lucky to find these two but Bekah and I won so big the day we met them!

So, for the handful that read this blog, please take a minute and pray for Cody, Bekah, and sweet Peyton. Pray that they will walk out of the hospital carrying their sweet Peyton together and as healthy as ever! Pray for complete and total healing. Pray for Cody's strength and wisdom. Please pray!!!! We have already witnessed so many miracles in these long 7 days and we know there are many more to come! I am so confident that the God I serve is a God that loves to show off! I am standing firm in that belief and fully expecting/demanding a huge show off from my sweet Jesus! Please join me in prayer for my family. 

8 year old me. . .

Recently I was asked if I liked children..... I quickly responded NO. The person who asked me was taken back and called me out for answering so quickly. All I could respond with was I like my kids and my friends kids but yeah. The conversation moved on but I have not moved on from it or better yet God has not let me move on from it. Every time, since then, I open my Bible I am directed to read something about children. As I have lost a few nights of sleep over this I am now beginning to understand why I answered NO so quickly. It is not true that I do not like children because I do. However, God seems to expose most of my flaws through children, either my own or others God is not picky. If you want a lesson in humility get down on your child's physical level and apologize to them (sincerely) because you lost your cool! Or how about a lesson in priorities because you are putting a career or better yet a social network over your kids.  At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. (Matthew 11:25 NIV84) As adults we think we have it all figured out but honestly we have lost it. Children have this amazing ability to just believe. There is no over complicating of things it just is and they will stand by it no matter! My daughter, today asked me if we were in Arkansas or Okameno City. I replied Arkansas. She confidently said no I think we be in Okameno City. I  get so frustrated with her for asking me if she already knew the answer and she just as confidently as ever says I just know! What really bothers me is that I can remember having that kind of confidence in what I believed. I had this  no fear approach to faith. I just knew God was God and that was all I needed. However, at some point I got scared and let the world seep into my heart. So now I am having to fight those fears and beg God for courage all because I let go of that confident fearless little girl! No wonder Jesus got onto the disciples for trying to shoo away the little children. If I was Jesus I would have wanted to hang with them rather than the whiny adults any day. So yes I do love children! I am jealous of their honesty, openness, fearlessness, and confidence. I want to protect my girls from the world and equip them to deal with the world so that they may never loose that confident fearless side that some days I mourn the loss of in myself!

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day! Today has been a roller coaster of emotions! Jay and I stood in front of our church and dedicated our sweet EC! As the staff  our friends prayed for us I was in awe of this journey called motherhood. There are times I look at my girls and feel gut wrenching guilt! I never wanted kids! I was not that girl planning kids and names. Then 3 months into our marriage we were so surprised to find out we were pregnant! Now don't misunderstand me I loved my little Lindsey from day 1 but grasping all that motherhood means has taken time! I know no harder job than raising these 2 girls! They constantly challenge me and just when I think I have a grasp on things they act like little mirrors and make me take a look at myself and realize the grasp I had was not as great as I thought! I have heard story after story of how the struggle to get pregnant drew them closer to God but nothing in my life has made me seek God harder and faster than being a mom! I joke that my goal for raising my girls is keeping them out of therapy but really my goal is so much greater! I want these to girls to grow up and be women that are so passionately in love with God that they are changing the world! Sometimes the weight of that goal is overwhelming! So as a result I have to turn to God because if left up to me Therapy is the only option! 

Now I can honestly tell you that my life would be so incomplete had my plans gone my way! But oh how blessed am I that God chose a different path for me! My girls are beyond sweet and amazing! When the days get mundane and I am tired of stepping in puke I must stop myself and remind myself that motherhood is a gift and I got the 2 best gifts there are! I love my sweet Linds and EC! Oh and I love that my girls have their daddy's genes! His genes are their saving grace! He is a pretty amazing guy!

Cloth Diaper Update #2

Okay. . . We are now 6 months into this cloth diapering journey and it has really been a journey. I have been so blessed with a sweet little girl that has the most sensitive skin EVER!!!! Cloth and disposable break her out! Oh and there is the ear infection she got which was treated with a good healthy dose of antibiotics that gave massive diarrhea oh and a yeasty rash!! (she is gonna love reading this one day) After many trips to the cloth diaper store, a venture into wool covers, and multiple combinations we are now in pampers until I can get her rash cleared up! So what I have learned is that when all is clear all is good! When all is not clear all is not good!

Washing is really not that hard! If you are like me and hate folding and putting away well the laundry is a pain. I have had an issue with them stinking and come to find out I was not using enough soap. To get rid of the stink a little overnight soak and problem solved. Now for the yeast I have to bleach them and rinse and bleach and rinse and so on and so on! A little more work.

I read a blog not too long ago about how easy cloth diapers are. Easy is not what I would call this. I still think cloth is worth it but I did not know that having a sensitive skined child could make this journey so . . . interesting!

6 Months Old!!

Happy 6 month birthday to my sweet EC!!! What is so cool is her aunt Amy and Uncle Cody's birthday was on the same day as her 6 month milestone! Love that she got to share that with her sweet aunt and uncle. I want to capture for myself and my family a few milestones she has hit these past 6 months, because, well I am horrible at keeping a baby book.

Look at this sweet brand new face!!! From the get go she was a great sleeper!!! I could lay her in bed with Jay and I and she would sleep until I woke her up. 12 hours and more!!! I had to quickly snap out of that and put her in her own bed before I had a co-sleeping baby!! After that she only would wake up once a night eat and go right back to sleep! PRAISE JESUS!!! I prayed for a calm baby and oh how He answered my prayers! Linds had colic and the first few months was just so angry. I was so terrified of going through that again but God heard my prayers and sent me EC who is so chill! 

EC and her boyfriend. They are 4 days apart. I was so thankful to have a friend to go through this pregnancy with! Made the record breaking summer bearable. At the month mark I stopped breast feeding. When it comes to breast feeding mama's are so opinionated. Holy cow! I am all about do what is best for you and your family. However, when I made that decision some women decided to step in and tell me how wrong I was. Oh please!!! Somewhere around 1 month old EC was sleeping through the night and eating roughly 4 oz every 3 hours. I had to go buy some NB cloth diapers since she was so long. She may have been 9 lbs but those 9 lbs were evenly distributed. Contrary to this picture she is an extremely happy baby. I had not gotten her nap schedule down but she napped often. We were always on the go so she rarely took a nap in her crib.

2 months old brought drama. I had noticed that she was real pukey. No big deal Linds did the same thing so no biggie. Well the big difference was Linds gained weight. EC was not gaining weight. By 2 months she had only gained a few ounces since birth. Her puking got worse and she was so angry after she would throw up. She would throw up whole bottles. So we lived at the Dr's office for the next 2 months. I was a nervous wreck. Oct brought her first road trip to AR. She loved all the attention my family gave her and Linds got to have her first sleep over with her cousin Hope. Big month in the Dunks house hold. 

By the end of month 3 her puking leveled off. She was gaining weight just slowly. However, she was developing beautifully. Toward the end of month 3 she was rolling over front to back and back to front. O geeze! I got a mover! She began to let me know that being on the go all the time was no longer bueno!! So I was forced to sit down and figure out a schedule. She now wakes at 8 am eats, nap from 930-1130, eat, play, nap from 230-5, eat, play, bed at 8! She is her momma's girl she loves her sleep. Even better she puts herself to sleep! 

4 months old and so smart and beautiful. She loves her sister. She just watches her and laughs at her! Linds is such a great big sister. She is so sweet with her. Lots of kisses and hugs. Month 4 brought her first trip to Texas to see Jay's family. She did great on the car ride down there. The car ride back not so much but hey a week sleeping in a pack and play then a 9 hr car ride would make me cranky too! She began to get on her knees and rock and could scoot on her belly. If she really wanted something she would just roll her way to it. At her 4 month check up the Dr. gave us the all clear for cereal. Since I was putting it in her bottles I just put off feeding her with a spoon. I was in no rush. She was still slowly gaining weight even though she puked like non other. We had to give her Reglan and that seemed to help along with changing to Soy formula. Oh and giggles appeared this month! 

Finally, when she turned 5 months old I gave her cereal by a spoon. She loved it!!! We tried green beans at the end and she broke out with some rash so I stopped them. Not sure that it was the GB but hey why rush things. She got her 1st ear infection and 1st round of antibiotics. The diarrhea was a nightmare!!! She is crawling all over the place now and nothing is safe any more. Month 5 was boring!!!! Boring is good in this house. She is just so easy. She eats 6 ounces. I lied she learned to crawl out of the Bumbo. I thought those things could suction any baby yeah not this string bean! 

Now we are just a day into 6 months but I love it. I gave her peas and she thought they were great. We went on a walk in the stroller and she tolerated it better that when she was a month old. Why my girls do not like to stroller or the car seat is beyond me! She loves to jump and crawl and just plain move. Everything goes in her mouth. She can sort of sit up but just for a second and it is still very tri podish. Her favorite thing to do is stand in a downward dog yoga pose. The cutest thing ever. When she is really tired she will suck her 1st 2 fingers and lay her head down no matter if she is sitting up or laying down. She does not do being tired well. I just love my little ginger! 

For my girls

One night as I was perusing through Pinterset I ran across this pin that put a few things into perspective for me! You see when I was pregnant and had Lindsey I was 24 years old. Little did I know I was in the process of a complete makeover on the inside! Faster than I would have liked I was growing out of college girl and becoming a wife and a mom. The wife thing was not too hard but becoming a mom was a whole different story. I was not ready! I was still selfish. I was just out of school, I just started a job, I was still young, I just got married! So when the first stretch mark appeared at around 30 weeks I was devastated. I was too young to have stretch marks. I mean I had bikinis to wear!!! It seemed like overnight my abdomen was covered in these silvery marks. To make matters worse after I lost all the baby weight and then some they were still there but now my abdomen just hung and was saggy! I was 24 years old with a abdomen of an old lady! I allowed my view of beauty to be all wrapped up in the way my belly appeared. I have spent the past 3 years shedding that selfish self and becoming a mom my girls deserve. Any who, as I saw that pin my perspective changed almost instantly.  Here is what I am coming to know as truth:

Each mark reminds me of each month God allowed me to carry my girls. Every line is a reminder of each breath you took, each kick you kicked, and even each punch to my bladder. Each mark is a reminder of the nights I prayed for your healthy arrival. Each line reminds me of God's love for me and you. Each mark reminds me of the love your father and I share that created you! Each line is proof of God's grace and mercy. The belly that now hangs and sags was your home that kept you safe and nourished you until the time came that I could hold you in my arms and make you feel safe and warm.

No longer will I allow myself to look in the mirror and be disgusted. I will now stand in the mirror with pride knowing that each stretch mark and the saggy skin is a reminder that God allowed me to be a mother to 2 beautiful girls. Those marks are an outward sign of the inner change my sweet Jesus has been doing in me.

***A special thanks to my sweet friend Cheryl for taking this picture for me! She is by far the best photographer and friend I could ever ask for!!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. . .

In case you have not noticed Christmas is approaching at record speeds this year! Traditionally we put up the tree the day after Thanksgiving and this year is no exception! We have spent 5 Christmas' together now and our tree is not exactly showing it! I don't have enough ornaments to decorate the back and I refuse to spend any more money on ugly balls to fill the spaces! Classy I know! 

This year to try and save money, add a personal touch, and most importantly keep my 3yo busy I decided homemade ornaments were the way to go!!!! Some of my favorite ornaments from growing up are the ones that were made by me or my great grandmother! My great grandmother made for my mom ornaments out of egg shells and they are so beautiful! I love pulling an ornament out of the box to hang on the tree and all these sweet memories come flooding in. Trimming the tree becomes this precious time of recalling the past.  

Since I do not have a creative bone in my body I turned to Pinterest and searched for ideas. I ran across a pin for Salt Dough and thought this would be great opportunity to create new memories with my favorite toddler that she can pull up each Christmas! (Side note a 3yo has a hard time understanding that these are not cookies to be eaten had many hard conversations with her about that one) So recently we spent the morning making memories! I decided to show you through pictures how easy and fun these ornaments are to make. 

Ingredients:

1/2 c. Salt

1 c. Flour

1/2 c. Water

Bake in 250 degree oven for 2 hours (Should be hard all the way through)

Combine salt, water, and flour and stir. 

This is the perfect dough for Lindsey to stir up as it is not too heavy!

Knead the dough a few times and the flour you surface and rolling pin and roll out to 1/4 in thickness.

 

 Lil miss EC loved watching Linds roll out the dough! I happened to have a ruler out so Linds made me measure every time we rolled out the dough!

 

Once the dough is rolled out cut with cookie cutters and placed on a parchment lined cookie sheet. (to reinforce colors I had Linds sort all the cookie cutters by color while I fed EC)

Make sure that your dough surface is smooth and even as those cracks will show in the final product.

Once the cutout is placed on the cookie sheet poke a large whole at the top for ribbon when done. A straw works great.

 Once you pull your ornaments out of the oven let them cool and then decorate! We used homemade glitter made from food coloring and salt (tutorial coming soon) and then coated them in modge podge and glitter. You could paint with acrylic paint or dye the dough before you cut them out. There are so many ways!!!!

Umm love plastic wrap and duck tape mats. I can throw away the mess at the end of the project!

 

Once dry I would coat with some form of spray on clear coat to protect the glitter for a long lasting ornament. 

Tie a ribbon on the end an you are ready to go! I do not recommend curling ribbon but it was what I had on hand at the time.

Okay now it is your turn to make sweet memories!!!