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Thursday, May 31, 2012

8 year old me. . .

Recently I was asked if I liked children..... I quickly responded NO. The person who asked me was taken back and called me out for answering so quickly. All I could respond with was I like my kids and my friends kids but yeah. The conversation moved on but I have not moved on from it or better yet God has not let me move on from it. Every time, since then, I open my Bible I am directed to read something about children. As I have lost a few nights of sleep over this I am now beginning to understand why I answered NO so quickly. It is not true that I do not like children because I do. However, God seems to expose most of my flaws through children, either my own or others God is not picky. If you want a lesson in humility get down on your child's physical level and apologize to them (sincerely) because you lost your cool! Or how about a lesson in priorities because you are putting a career or better yet a social network over your kids.  At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. (Matthew 11:25 NIV84) As adults we think we have it all figured out but honestly we have lost it. Children have this amazing ability to just believe. There is no over complicating of things it just is and they will stand by it no matter! My daughter, today asked me if we were in Arkansas or Okameno City. I replied Arkansas. She confidently said no I think we be in Okameno City. I  get so frustrated with her for asking me if she already knew the answer and she just as confidently as ever says I just know! What really bothers me is that I can remember having that kind of confidence in what I believed. I had this  no fear approach to faith. I just knew God was God and that was all I needed. However, at some point I got scared and let the world seep into my heart. So now I am having to fight those fears and beg God for courage all because I let go of that confident fearless little girl! No wonder Jesus got onto the disciples for trying to shoo away the little children. If I was Jesus I would have wanted to hang with them rather than the whiny adults any day. So yes I do love children! I am jealous of their honesty, openness, fearlessness, and confidence. I want to protect my girls from the world and equip them to deal with the world so that they may never loose that confident fearless side that some days I mourn the loss of in myself!

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